So, here’s Satan, alone in his crumby flat (literally; Satan likes biscuits and does not do hoovers). He’s at his desk, the floor around him littered with dozens of screwed up pieces of paper like a flock of crap origami sheep. His pen is poised above a fresh sheet of paper.
Yes, Satan is writing his life story as a rock opera but can’t seem to find the words. He has a wealth of bitter tortured experiences to draw from – that nasty business in the Garden of Eden, that unwise wager regarding Job’s piety, the unwinnable war in heaven (Lucifer was outnumbered two to one), etc, etc – but how best to express that?
Of course, the internet is full of terribly beautifully terrible song titles to inspire bad song titles but most of these seem to come from the Country and Western genre. What does Heavy Metal (Satan’s chosen genre) have to offer?
If we were sat in a pub, we’d break out the index cards and sharpies and scribble down some ideas but, no, this time I would like to share the collaborative experience electronically.
Could you provide a title or a lyric for one of Satan’s songs? Pomposity, crassness and self-indulgence are very much welcome. If it makes Heide and I laugh out loud and wet ourselves, even better.
Post your suggestions as comments here. Each brilliant song title used in the finished chapter will be rewarded with a pint*
On a final note, I must share a quote from the indispensible Wikipedia article on the writing style of the band Slayer:
“Hanneman, King and Araya tend to have different lyrical influences. Hanneman’s lyrics deal with Nazis, religion, warfare and similar topics. King’s lyrics are generally just very anti-religious. Araya’s lyrics usually deal with less controversial topics than Hanneman’s and King’s, such as serial killers and warfare.”
Serial Killers and warfare. Not at all controversial.
*pint prize exchangeable for wine, spirits or a soft drink of your choice. Prize only available in Birmingham pubs. Prize cannot be sent through the post (it will spill and make the rest of your mail smell like a brewery) or sent electronically (it will spill and short out the internet).