Who would be Mr Clovenhoof?

So that we can both write about Satan in a consistent way, we need to agree on what exactly he looks like. We thought it might be helpful to imagine who we’d get to play him in a film of our story.
The above pics, Robert de Niro, Gary Oldman, Simon Callow, Tommy Lee Jones, Mickey Rourke and Jeff Bridges all have something of what we’re looking for. We want someone who’s had charisma, but maybe lost it down the back of the sofa. Someone who’s gone to seed a bit. Who has the most potential of our candidates above? Comments below, or we’ll come after you with index cards…

Posted in 2011 Tagged with: , ,
8 comments on “Who would be Mr Clovenhoof?
  1. Iain says:

    No, not Simon Callow. He's too well-spoken and refined. Satan must be grim and grungy at times and I don't think Simon can do grungy. And I'll say pass on Robert De Niro. He's already played Satan once in that brilliant film, Angel Heart. Admittedly, his beard did most of the acting in that one.

  2. Heide says:

    Does he need to have gravitas? I think that is my main problem with Gary Oldman, he's a bit skittish.

  3. ashlyme says:

    i disagree, Iain – I think Callow would be best, simply because you CAN'T imagine him sniffing his own farts, or doing similarly grossish things. He'd be acting against type, which makes him the best choice: everybody else is too damn obvious. Plus Callow would rock the Smoking Jacket Look.

    – Mat

  4. Heide says:

    Mat, You're right about the smoking jacket, I'd had the exact same thought!

  5. You need somebody suave and charming who can do dry dark humour, physical comedy AND act like a lovable idiot all at the same time.

    Basically, a cross between Blackadder, Mr Bean and Johnny English. Hmmm…?

  6. Heide says:

    Simon, that's a really interesting idea. My instinct is to say that he's not really old enough, but there is enough there that I am hesitating…

  7. Mary Mason says:

    Gary Oldman for me, one of the most versatile actors around at the moment.

  8. Heide says:

    Mary, he's grown on me a lot as prime candidate for Clovenhoof.