Ben Kitchen.

And the character sketch for Satan’s next door neighbour…
Ben lives in flat 3A. He lives alone. He would like to pretend he is a self-contained individual, a lone wolf but, in truth, he is desperately friendless. Unfortunately, his overall personality is not conducive to making friends. He suffers from a form of OCD which makes him obsessively (even inappropriately) methodical. Everything has its place and every day has its routine. Ben weighs himself before and after every poo and writes the measurements down in a book. He doesn’t store his bodily excretions and off-cuttings in jars but he’s thought about it.
He has bizarre fears. He is plagued by dreams of a wasp which has made its home in his belly. He has a terrible fear of anything with hinges, particularly that locked cupboard in the kitchen which must not be opened.
Ben is mostly oblivious to these peculiarities and failings. He believes he is an upstanding member of the community. He keeps a benevolent eye on the goings on in the block of flats (writing them down, of course) and has been known to anonymously phone the police to give them tip-offs to wrongdoing. He’s even taken to exacting secret petty vengeance on local wrongdoers and leaving little gifts (chocolates, self-help books, etc) at the doors of those he feel deserves them.
Ben works in a local shop. It’s not intellectually stimulating but it’s the only job he can happily maintain.
A physical weakling, Ben is fascinated by war and death (he wants to find a dead body just so he can touch it). He is a model wargamer and is constantly constructing and painting figures for his army of tiny Carthaginian soldiers. He attends a monthly wargaming club where his violently competitive side is revealed. Wargaming club is a place of victory and defeat and, for Ben, not a social gathering. He views it as a terrible chore, one he is drawn to again and again.
All told, Ben is lonely. He wants friends. He’s just not well-equipped to make any.
Posted in 2011 Tagged with: , , ,